If your insurance company has a medical chart option and you aren’t using it, what are you even doing with your life? Despite its convenience, as I look at the screen, I’m mumbling to myself that I don’t need to confirm every single time that: I know the balance billing act, my insurance hasn’t changed, I have no new meds within the last however many days it’s been since I received a test (one day – it’s literally been a single day since I last filled out their digital paperwork)…. 

Complaining about the efficiency of online check-in feels a little like Homer Simpson yelling at the microwave because 10 seconds is too long to wait for whatever snack he wants, except that visiting the doctor would not, under any circumstance, be considered a snack. Of course, there was that one time when I was NOT the patient and we had the hottest ED doctor (resident) I’ve ever seen. Seriously, I asked the nurses about him and they were like … YEAH, WE KNOW. And then I apologized for objectifying him which made him laugh. And that only made him MORE appealing. He was definitely hotter than McDreamy (is that the right nickname?).

Spring cleaning continues. Since my activities are still limited, I mentored Haley’s first foray into drywall. She did a fantastic job repairing the place in the ceiling that usually holds a light fixture. 

For those of you who weren’t part of the exciting beginning to that experience, a few months ago, the entire fixture threw itself out of the ceiling when I was changing a light bulb. We’ll be putting a new ceiling light up as soon as painting is complete. That part will be easy and fun because we found the most beautiful Victorian ceiling light at Construction Junction. It was $35. Seriously. We returned the somewhat banal light we’d purchased at some big box store.

We’ve finished scraping, spackling, sanding, and priming. We’re about to start painting actual color onto the walls and ceilings. There are a lot of moving parts. The painting has to be done before the largish throw rug arrives next week. Also, next week, we’ll get the carpet padding for our new-to-us/found-at-an-estate-sale-for-$100 rug. That thing is huge, somewhere in the 16’ x 11’ range but it’s a perfect fit for our living space.

We still need a bedframe for the guest room and then, we’ll be ready for our May visitors and any others who follow. There are two upcoming estate sales that have good potential queen bed options. I love buying used furniture with good bones on the cheap. Next week, the guest bedroom mattress arrives.   

A contractor is coming this week to look at my leaking shower floor – waterproofing is not one of my specialties. I gave it a try but we’ve still got a leak, folks, and that’s causing drywall damage in the second floor bathroom. We need to patch that in order to paint the bathroom and on and on. It’s beginning to feel like a Jenga game but I know we’ll manage. 

I’m still looking for a roofer since I fired-before-we-signed-paperwork the company that called every day, plus texted and emailed until I got annoyed enough that I told them we couldn’t work together. They wanted a 90 minute meeting. I told them I couldn’t currently accommodate that much time and they began pestering. UGH. Better to know upfront though.

It’s now week two of chemo session two. I’ve had a few icky experiences but mostly it’s been quiet this round. I’m tired. I have nightmares every single night. My joints ache. I’m finally healed from the second infection I managed to pick up since starting chemo. 

All of this sounds terrible, right? But you wouldn’t know to look at me that I’m taking 4000 mg of capecitabine every single day. Mostly, I feel pretty good, though I’ve gone off asparagus and lemonade makes me sick to the point of incapacity. Unfortunately, I drank about 4 ounces of lemonade before I figured that out.

I’ve had a couple people ask if I can do activities outside the house. Yes and … no. I’m doing lots of stuff in and out of the house but I have some limits. No standing for long periods – and by long periods I mean like 15 minutes. I sat in a chair or on the floor during scraping and sanding! 

No tea because it can prevent chemo from working. If I’m going through chemo, I am sure as hell not shooting myself in the foot by drinking tea. No large crowds. I’m not immunocompromised but I’m also not stupid. Large crowds increase disease likelihood so I’m keeping it small. Those of you who are envisioning that I look like the crypt keeper – yeah, well I sort of do but no more than I ever have. 

There are two songs playing on repeat in my playlist – “Be” by Hozier, acoustic because he said in an interview that it’s his favorite version of the song AND “Blackbird” by Beyonce. I think – don’t hurt me – that it’s better than the original. 

And finally, while I don’t have the link to the game bundle that includes SQUB, my son’s latest game, I will share it when it arrives in my inbox. All proceeds go directly to support at-risk young people. If you support the cause, check out the link and tell your friends. If you don’t, just keep moving because I block haters. 

If you want to support my boy’s game studio, you can just buy his game. 

And finally, one of the many lessons I’ve learned on this journey: I might not be able to determine my lifespan but I get to choose how I live with the time I’m given. And I choose to live more kindly today than yesterday. 

Much love.