Ken often says that no one cares for the caregivers. He’s concerned about me but I have to disagree. The notes, texts, care packages, dinners, and treats that Ken receives from his friends and family — all the love that his community expresses for him — provide such comfort to me as caregiver.
It’s very stressful some days, especially “chemo pump weekend,” when Ken is exhausted and nauseous. Ken uses music to relax as much as possible and has a sweet setup in the bedroom to stream his choice of the moment. The treadmill and the yoga mat are my (mostly) daily crutches. If you are looking for a non-public yoga option, YouTube is a great source for free Yoga videos (Yoga with Adriene!). In addition, we’ve all played around with coloring — adult coloring books and coloring apps for our phones. Lately, I’ve been carrying yarn to our doctor appointments and crocheting granny squares. It’s great for my fidgety fingers and at the end of the work, I will have a chemo blanket! I actually saw (honestly, with some horror) a recommendation online to choose the granny square color according to the crafter’s mood. Imagine what that afghan would look like for us — lots of stress and grieving colors, I think!
Ken continues to struggle with food options. Some days, a banana smoothie appeals to him (Here’s our recipe, sized for the Ninja single serve cup: 1 cup plain greek yogurt, 1/3 cup orange juice, and 1-2 bananas. I also have a “protein” version, a peanut butter/banana smoothie: 1 cup greek yogurt, 1/3 cup apple juice, 1-2 bananas, and 1 tablespoon smooth peanut butter (we use organic for this because it’s a little runny, perfect for smoothies).
It’s hard to predict when something will taste wrong to him: sometimes a suggestion will sound good but the smell will bother him (sugar snap peas, which he usually loves) and sometimes he’ll start eating (ham and potato soup, scrambled eggs) and “nope,” suddenly he feels sick. We have good anti-nausea medicine but once a food turns his stomach, it’s doomed. I totally understand that. While tortilla chips no longer make me sick, there was about a two-year period after a particularly bad experience on a road trip, when I couldn’t even stand the smell of them.
