Mortality is that person you never think about until they start texting you to “hang out.” They aren’t a friend or even an acquaintance, however you choose to define that. You’ve seen them in passing, at a funeral or in the eyes of an elderly neighbor, but you don’t KNOW them. 

It’s awkward, really. Because you have friends in common, you don’t want to upset them by ignoring their “have a chat” messages; but you also would rather pull out your own teeth than associate with Mortality. They’re so, so  …. What is there to say? They make you uncomfortable. You can’t quite put your finger on the problem, on why you dread interacting with them. 

They are oddly omnipresent at certain times of your life, too, which is beyond frustrating. Just when you most want peace and brightness, look who’s calling. It’s Mortality with a “you up” message that’s as far from sexy as your partner saying, “who gets to use the bathroom first?”

It’s 3AM. You’ve kept your eyes closed for hours in a determined attempt to sleep even though there’s no chance it will work. All of a sudden, there’s an almost physical tap on your shoulder. Mortality has tucked themselves into bed next to you and they want to chat. You’re sure that, if you could just lie still for another minute, you’d fall asleep but not with Mortality in the bed. Worse than them wanting to talk is their preferred topic: all the things you least want to discuss. 

“Want to talk about things you regret, times you hurt someone whether intentionally or not, the all the things you might never get to do again?” Ouch. It’s as painful as a parental look back on all the ‘last times’ you did something with your child – the final time you: carried them up to their bed, gave them a piggy back ride, tucked them in, read them a story, played with them. Oh, hey, Mortality, thanks so much for bringing up all the other potential LASTS in our futures and our pasts. 

Mortality isn’t vindictive. Imagine if they were. The merciless brutality of their existence would be worsened incalculably if the focus of their attention was also their latest victim. The potential for true cruelty is endless. “Hey, Mortality here, let’s talk about that time you watched your crush kiss your best friend.” Instead, Mortality is just saying, in the gentlest manner, “hey, thinking about you” and “are you thinking about me?” 

God, yes, I am but I sure wish I weren’t. 

Much love.