Palentine, Galentine, Valentine?

Happy Galentine’s, Palentine’s and Valentine’s Day!

My husband was renowned for giving perfect, thoughtful presents, sometimes funny, always purposeful. As I’ve mentioned before, he really disliked events that compelled gift-giving but that didn’t reduce his gift-giving game at all. He was at his best when he could give gifts for no particular reason and in my opinion, those “I was thinking of you” gifts are the absolute best gifts to get. My favorites of all of those are a poem he emailed me and a candy necklace he dropped on my desk, still in a little brown bag.

And this brings me to our first Valentine’s Day as a couple. I was as broke as a church mouse, still surviving on ramen (7 for $1) and peanut butter sandwiches. So, I made him a little paper Valentine’s card. I still have it somewhere. It was red and pink and I wrote a little note – something silly or punny, not passionate or deeply emotional. 

He was horrified. I had given him a handmade card and he had nothing for me – nothing. The king of sweet and silly gifts had nothing to offer. 

I didn’t care. I swear it. I didn’t cry, make a fuss, get mad. I swear it on my mom’s grave. I really had no expectations. Seriously. We hadn’t discussed Valentine’s Day, no dinner plans, nothing like that. I just wanted to give him a little card, you know? But he was so horrified that he left my apartment without saying a word. Not in a mad way, just flustered. He was often unpredictable so I just went back to whatever I’d been doing. No big deal.

A couple hours later, he returned. He had left my place to get me a gift. Flowers? Candy? A card? Nope. Car mats, really nice car mats, maroon to match my little maroon car. 

My favorite Valentine’s gift ever. 

I missed Palentine’s lunch with friends last week. I was really looking forward to it but life intervened, as it does sometimes. Over the weekend, though, I was very lucky and got to brunch with two of my favorite Palentines. It was lovely, even though the water glasses were only slightly larger than sippy cups. 

Today and everyday, I hope you too get to share loving connections, however you define them.

Much love.

Palentine, Galentine, Valentine?

Bedtime

The house is quiet
Tired dogs kennel themselves
A reminder that sleep
Should be welcome.
Legs slip slowly into a
Heated-blanket-warmed bed
Otherwise empty of
Arms and legs.
Two pillows,
Only one needs to be fluffed,
Are propped at the head.
The desultory late evening
‘I don’t want to sleep
Until we talk about
One last thing’ chatter
Is absent from the room,
Missing from the house.
The once small space, the tiny bed,
Are a million times their original size
And I am cut in half.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my friends.

Bedtime