Wanted: gratitude, thankfulness, appreciation. Only actual feelings need apply. I don’t want any of that fake-it-’til-you-make-it gratitude. I’m looking for the real, honest-to-goodness, earnest appreciation, that I’m-thankful-for-everyone-including-my-second-grade-math-teacher emotion. 

Unfortunately, it is noticeably absent today. It’s not that I’m not thankful for my family and friends. The problem is that today I’m not feeling any of that. I’m a little angry, chagrined, if you will. Also sad. But that’s not news or new.

The ceiling fell this afternoon. That’s not a metaphor. 

I guess I am thankful, actually, because it was the ceiling of the finished portion of the basement. What if the ceiling in the unfinished part of the basement had fallen in? Since the unfinished basement is directly below the living room, I guess that would have meant that we no longer had a living room or maybe that we suddenly had a combined living room and basement? Maybe that I could sit on the sofa while also being on the treadmill…?

You’re going to ask me why the basement ceiling fell, aren’t you? I’m asking myself the same question. I have two theories: 1) that there actually is a god and he’s messing with me because he’s bored; 2) that Ken’s spirit has returned to us and he doesn’t want to use the flickering light cliche to get our attention. 

Regardless of which theory is correct, guess who has to fix the damn basement ceiling? Yeah. That would be me. I can do it. I’ve done it before — not that particular ceiling though so don’t try to tell me that it was my subpar workmanship that I just swept into a pile next to the basement stairs. 

I think my current lack of thankfulness is due to the near-empty condition of my resilience bucket. It’s definitely a little on the dry side right now. In truth, I could really, really, really use some good news. Just a little. A smidge. A few drops for the bucket. 

Yesterday, I got all my Thanksgiving baking supplies. But of course somehow, even though I had a list, I forgot to get sugar. We were completely out of sugar, mind you; it was very specifically on my list to buy. I just flat out didn’t buy it.

So, today, I went to the store and bought sugar. And when I got home, the basement ceiling was on the floor. 

It was too much. It’s still too much. I sat down on the basement steps and cried and cried and cried (very quietly, though, so as not to disturb any of the animals or other people in the house). And then, I got up, splashed water on my face, and used that stupid sugar to make pies. Because tomorrow is Thanksgiving and there were pies to bake.

Here’s hoping we don’t have a Like Water For Chocolate situation brewing. 

May your Thanksgiving qualify as a feast and your home be filled with warmth and laughter and … gratitude.

Much love.